The Jordan Rules (The Last Dance Ep. 3 & 4)

There is only one way to stop a freight train that has a full head of steam. You HAVE to break its tracks. The "Bad Boy Pistons" only knew one way to hoop... they broke every freight trains tracks.

In this post I want to look at Episodes 3 & 4 because a lot of people enjoyed what I had to say about episodes 1 & 2. So here it goes.

For one, I have been on absolute TEAR of 30 for 30's in the last week. Watching the first couple episodes of The Last Dance really made me nostalgic when talking about sports, so I went back to ole reliable. I've watched at least one 30 for 30 every night for the past week, and it is feeding my sports craving. I've seen dozens of the 30 for 30 documentaries throughout my life, but something I have noticed about the last dance (like my blogs) is that holy shit they jump around A LOT. We were in 1989 to begin the episodes. Then to like 1980. Then Phil Jackson was a kid and we learned that his mom was apart of a cult. Then Dennis Rodman was a level headed kid (which who saw that coming?). Then the Bulls bought out Rodman and his crazy ass outfits.... Then Rodman was back on the Bad Boys and putting his future, yet past, but not-yet-teammate Scottie Pippen on the floor? That is something that this documentary does a terrible job of is keeping the story straight. I understand you have to go on small tangents to keep the story running but damn we are being thrown in a time machine while on roofies... we have no idea where we are in the story at certain points. Besides the fact of not having anyone being body bagged in these episodes (R.I.P hating on Jerry Krause) and having a very weird timeline, have to say the episodes were yet again great. As previously mentioned, I won't hit every topic, but I will try my best to jump around to the things that stood out the most and my opinion on those things.

We can start out with The Worm. Super disappointed to have known Dennis Rodman's nickname all of these years just to not get a backstory. If nothing else I have gotten a Jeopardy question right before because of his nickname. I thought for sure we would get a backstory as to why Rodman was the worm, but I will suffer not knowing. I don't know much about Madonna, but this documentary taught somebody something tonight: women will make you crazy. I guess one time Madonna told Rodman that he could express himself and now Rodman 1) dresses crazy, 2) paints his nails, 3) is best friends with a late(?) Dictator, and, 4) had ridiculous hairstyles throughout his professional basketball career. THANK YOU MADONNA...? At least the documentary taught me that there was 30 3's on his head for Pippen's return, and it wasn't some sort of Carol Baskin hairstyle... For real, I always thought that those pictures of that hair was some sort of tribute to leopards or something.

Also regarding Rodman... physics class must've never made sense to this guy. The way that he described grabbing a rebound was HILARIOUS. All of those little sounds and throwing his arms around in the air talking about tipping the ball reminded me of the little kid who just CANNOT describe what he is trying to say. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxOaW6aHpak

Also, being called "The Fuck Up Guy" has to feel good. Being 'the enforcer,' and not on the hockey rink has GOT to feel so so so good.

Rodman demanding a 48 hour vacation is HILARIOUS. Imagine being on the best player's team and you tell him you need a couple days off. It's like when the government just shutdown and didn't tell anyone. We were all just the Mr. Krabs meme. It didn't REALLY make a difference, but we felt lost without the guidance from a key part of our life. Then, Rodman comes back, and BOOM Phil Jackson installs a mid season training camp for the whole team because Rodman HAD TO be a booty call for Carmen Electra.

Side note, the clip of Rodman chugging a brew RIGHT BEFORE getting on his motorcycle to vacation in Las Vegas was ALL TIME "I don't give a fuck" mentality.

Next, we have the Bad Boy Pistons. I have seen many highlights of the Bad Boys team, and have known forever that they really just were a bunch of pushy assholes, but it was fun to see that again. There is no chance we will ever get to see such an aggressive team with how basketball is played and officiated now, but damn it must've been crazy to either know you were going to fight when headed to Detroit. They really had the "we don't give a fuck" mentality. How good would it feel to beat the best player in the league two years in a row knowing you just bullied him SO BAD that he had to go out and gain 15lbs in the off-season just to be able to stay on his feet in the lane?

The Pistons walking off the floor and not shaking hands was a surprise to the Bulls? Like c'mon, these dudes didn't care AT ALL about sportsmanship. They would stop at nothing to get in your head physically or mentally, and you think these dudes were going to come up and shake your hand like some kind of business meeting? Hell no, if there was no fines or suspicions, I'm CERTAIN that the Bad Boys would walk out double birds in front of tens of thousands of people.

Phil Jackson. Arguably the greatest coach in NBA history. Love to hear the backstory on this guy. Grew up in a pretty different lifestyle than we see today. Had a semi-normal professional basketball career. But the SECOND they started talking about acid, Phil's life was DIFFERENT DIFFERENT. He coached in a Puerto Rican league where he was bound to die. Thankfully Jerry Krause (one of the only good things Krause ever did) put him on the Bulls coaching staff which more than likely saved Jackson's life. Then Jackson took over and like Pythagoras, instilled the triangle (offense) into the mind of the Chicago Bulls. He turned the 'Michael Jordan Show' into 'The Michael Jordan Show featuring the Bulls.' When they first brought up Jackson's installation of HC, it seemed like MJ was pissed because he wasn't going to get the ball anymore, and I was so invested that I too was like: "damn Phil, this your franchise player.... you not gon' let him get his 50 pieces?" Even though I knew MJ's future.

Through and through, it was another great couple of episodes. Much slower than the first two, but I am already looking forward to next Sunday. Felt like Game Day again today, so the sports high I got from the film is still there.

Tweets of the night: