Could You Flip a Tree?

Of course you couldn't.

The next episode of "Home Game" (Netflix) is about the Braemar Gathering in Braemar, Scotland. Similar to Calcio Storico, this is another event you didn't know existed.

I am certain you have heard of the decathlon. A combination of sprints, distances, and throws that an athlete makes in order to take home the trophy, win the prize, whatever... The "Highland Games" are so much more elementary, yet so much more exciting. It is just throwing heavy shit as far and as straight as you can.

This is the "weight over the bar". It is almost exact opposites of the "limbo" but instead of your body going over the bar, you throw a weight over the bar. Starts low, and gets higher as people get eliminated. The weight is 56lbs, and according to "The Measure of things," 56lbs can roughly equate to:

• 5 Gallons of paint or,

• 1/5 of a Panda Bear or,

• 9 Bricks or,

• 3/5 of a toilet or,

• 1/3 of a beer keg (shout out to all the Chads)

This is an example of the weight throw. This is actually two separate events. You throw a 28lb weight, then a 56lb weight. Longest throw wins. Might buy a kettle bell and start throwing them as far as I can....

• A three year old (on average) weighs 28lbs

This is the Scottish Hammer Throw. It is similar to a regular Hammer Throw but your feet have to stay stable. Like the weight throw, you have two separate weights, 16lb (1.5 gallons of paint) and 22lb (a little more than 2 gallons of paint).

I think the coolest part of the Scottish Hammer Throw event is the shoes that help you not move

It is a hiking boot, a cleat, and an ice pick all in one. One miss step, and you are getting the razor-scooter-to-the-ankle + knife-straight-to-the-shin feeling all in one. Just lacing these bad boys up is a threat to yourself and anyone around you.

The next event is stone put. Essentially, it is the same as a shot put, but its just a rock.

I couldn't tell for sure but it looks like there are two different events for this as well. There seemed to be a stationary version and a mobile version. The stationary version is hilarious to watch. Its basically how fast can you move your hand from your shoulder as far away from your body while holding a 20lb weight without moving your feet? Not electric at all, but definitely laugh-out-loud funny.

And the best for last, is the caber toss. This is what makes the "Highland Games" so unique. From the looks of the history of the caber toss, no one knows why it was invented, but it is so damn cool. You hold the bottom of a shaven tree. You then try to throw the massive stump end-over-end so that the part of the stump you were holding lands exactly at "12 o'clock". You are scored on "accuracy" (closest to 12) rather than distance. From what it looked like on the doc, it's less likely for you to even walk away with a score because it is so hard to make it go end-over-end.

Like Calcio Storico, the Highland Games has one very significant rule: anyone in a Kilt can compete.

Scotland cares about two things: good ale, and kilts. If a lad shows up in a kilt, he is automatically family. If a lad shows up with a 6 pack of ale, he is a friend. But, if a lad shows up with a 6 pack of ale while wearing a kilt, he is more than welcome to be apart of the annual tree flipping competition (that the queen attends) with the entire country watching.

I want to know more about the history of the Braemar Gathering. My no knowledge, fictitious history, is that it used to be a pub where drunks would bet on how far they could throw a keg and farthest throw would win. Friendly wager after friendly wager... they turned it into an annual event.

Which avenger would be the best for this event?

Easier answer than the last blog post. Hulk. No questions.

I would recommend this doc just to listen to the Scottish accents for half of an hour. But more than that, the couple of athletes they focus on are just sheer strong men who lift heavy things for fun, and I couldn't endorse them more.

PS. The coolest thing about people from Ireland and Scotland is their response in the affirmative. "Aye" is the coolest word on the planet.

"Did you have a good day?" "Aye"

"Did you eat your vegetables?"

"Aye"

"Did you successfully flip the caber?" "Aye"

"Did you drink too much"

"Aye"

Sounds more than perfect in any conversation. And it is used a couple times in the doc much to my satisfaction. Don't be mad when I am the one to start the "aye" trend in the United States.

PPS. The Queen of England attends this event every year. She is old.